A Change of Environment

The new semester started this week, which means I'm back to juggling work and study after my year off.  And I'm feeling very much thrown in the deep end, with already a pile of reading to be done, and a couple of reports to write, and I'm desperately trying to remember how on earth I used to manage to fit all this in around full time work.

Part of the answer of course is about setting up good habits and routines (which I've talked about before).  And I will, over the next few weeks, get myself back into the rhythm of studying and of organising the rest of my life around fitting it in.  And as always, I'll resign myself to having no life until the semester is over.  I'll work it out.

But today, with all that work to be done, and very aware that this was my only free day for uninterrupted study, I just couldn't settle down to it.  I'd made sure the house was clean and tidy (I can't think straight when there's a mess around me), had a quiet and comfortable (but not too comfortable) spot to work in, removed all distractions, and otherwise made everything as conducive to study as possible, but despite all that, for some reason I just couldn't concentrate.  I'd read a sentence or two of a paper and then my mind would start to wander, or I'd suddenly want a glass of water, or to open the window because it was too warm, or to find a jumper to put on because now it was too cold, or to go to the toilet because of all those glasses of water, or... yeah, you get the idea.

So rather than waste my time struggling on unsuccessfully (and with no time to just give up and try again later), I completely changed my environment.  I packed up my books, walked over to a nearby cafe, ordered lunch, and settled back down to my reading.  And spent a very constructive three hours there, during which time I totally broke the back of the work I needed to get done.

Yes, it was noisier there than it would have been at home, but none of it was noise I needed to pay attention to, so it didn't distract me.  And yes, juggling reading material, notes, and my lunch on a small cafe table was a bit more awkward than using the wide expanse of desk I've got at home, but that just meant I had to focus more closely.  Or maybe it was just the fresh air and exercise I got walking over there that helped. Whatever, it worked for me.

Now I'm not saying you should do all your studying in cafes.  I'm not even saying that's where I'm going to be spending much time.  But on this particular day, in that particular mood, that was the right environment for me to be in, not my theoretically perfect study space at home.  And that's worth remembering - that on those days when it's just not clicking for you, sometimes a change of environment is all you need to get yourself back into the right mental space for study.  Give it a try sometime!

Starting again

I took my first step into returning to study yesterday: I filled in the enrolment forms, and put in my application to have my fees partially waived (a perk of working for the university).

So, all going according to plan, in February next year I'll be taking a course in Linguistic Theory, the second of four papers I need to complete to add (Hons) to the BA at the end of my name.

I'm feeling a bit nervous - after a year away from study, I can't remember how I ever found enough time to keep up with all the reading and writing and thinking needed, all while working full time.  Especially as my job is a lot busier now than it was a year ago, so there won't be the same chances to sneak in a bit of studying during the quiet periods.  Adding to my nervousness is the decision by the Linguistics department to compress their previously full-year courses into single semesters, which presumably means we'll be expected to do as much work as the full-year course, but in half the time.  (Though I suppose on the plus side it means I'll only have to cope with the stress for half as long...)

But despite my worries, I'm really looking forward to the course.  Though the topic sounds a bit dry, I think it will turn out to be one of those courses that you can make as interesting as you want depending on which aspects you choose to focus on, and it's definitely going to be an incredibly useful grounding for the future study I want to do.

Plus, after a year of not having to think too deeply about anything, it's exciting to think about really getting my teeth into a topic again!

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So, what are your plans for study for 2014?  Anything exciting coming up?  Let me know in the comments below.

Clubbing together

Yesterday I attended the inaugural meeting of a new club at my university, LingSoc.  Up until now there hasn't been a specific club for Linguistics students, just the generic ArtsSoc, so a few of the students got together and decided to rectify that.

I've never joined any clubs as a mature student - I suppose because my perception was that they were full of 18 year olds and all about the parties.  So I don't know what inspired me to go along to the meeting (probably just because I've been feeling starved of good linguistic discussion recently and missing studying).  But I'm so glad I did.

It turned out my preconceived idea of what student clubs are like was all wrong.  This club at least attracted a wide range of types and ages of students, from first years to postgrads, and I don't think I was even the oldest in the room.  I spotted a few former classmates, so it was easy for even shy me to find someone to talk to.  And the organisers' plans for the club sound great - as well as social events, they want to arrange academic talks, and sessions for prospective postgrads.  But mostly the aim is just to provide a place where we can get together with other students who share our love of linguistics, and talk about the kind of stuff that makes our friends roll their eyes in boredom.

It's all too easy as a mature student to hold yourself separate from the younger students, to think you've got nothing in common.  But you've got a huge something in common with them that you're unlikely have with friends of your own age - a shared interest in the subject you're studying.

So if you haven't joined any student clubs, go along and try one out.  They might have more to offer you than you think.

Feeling inspired

I went to a party on Saturday night.  Not that unusual, but this was a special party - it was to celebrate a colleague's brand new doctorate.  He'd done a few papers as a mature student a few years ago, was inspired, and decided to give up work, apply for a scholarship, and get his PhD.

Only three years later he's achieved his goal, and now proudly wears the title Doctor in front of his name.

I left the party feeling reinspired.  I can't afford right now to give up work and study full time, so it'll take me a bit longer, but I'm determined to keep slogging away one paper at a time and finish this degree, then on to the next one, and maybe one day I'll be the one throwing the party and hearing my friends call me Doctor.

Can't wait! :-)

Regrets

I've been feeling a bit down about having had to drop out for the year.  A lot of it is because there's been a very distinguished academic visiting the linguistics department this month, and I was invited (by the lecturer from the course I took last year, who has been hosting him) to sit in on the guest lectures he gave to this year's honours class.  The discussion in that class, and being able to talk linguistics with someone of that calibre, was so exciting that it's reminded me of how much I love studying.

But the visiting academic has gone home now, back to his prestigious US university, so my brief foray back into academia is over again, and I'm feeling a bit sad, and realising just how much I'm going to miss it (it didn't help either that when I filled in the census forms the other day, for the first time in many many years I had to tick the "no" box to the question "are you currently enrolled in formal education").

I think though that I did make the right decision in dropping the paper.  Life is still kind of messy, and even though I loved sitting in on those lectures for the last couple of weeks, just keeping up with the reading for them was a real struggle - if I was having to also do all the data collection and writing response papers that the real students were doing alongside the reading, there's no way I'd have coped.  And with the end of term looming up in a couple of weeks, and the first assessments starting to come due, I'd have been seriously stressed by now.

In other words, my head knows I made the right decision to put study on hold for a year, but my heart isn't entirely convinced.

Drop out

So, as you might have guessed, last week's post on dealing with crisis was inspired by a crisis happening in my own life at the time.  I did write the post mainly with the thought of passing on some of the "insider" knowledge I've gained from working for the university, but in writing it I realised that in dealing with my own crisis I wasn't actually following my own advice.  And when I started thinking about what I was facing this year, and how much stress life events are causing me right now, I realised that if a student came and saw me and told me a similar story, what I'd tell her is very different to what I was telling myself.

So, to cut a long story short, after a lot of internal debate, and a lot of talking to colleagues and other students, I finally decided earlier this week to drop out from the course I'm taking.  I just haven't got the energy right now to deal with life and put in the effort the course deserves, and even if I am feeling more up to it in a month or so, I'll have missed so much of the course it would be too hard to catch up.  Not an easy decision to make, because I was actually really enjoying the paper for the short time I had before disaster struck, and even harder because it's a year-long course, so I won't be able to pick it up again until next February.  But I do think it's the right decision.

So what does that mean for this blog?  I don't want to stop writing it just when I'm getting into my stride, but if I'm not actively studying it's going to be a lot harder to find topics to write on.  For now at least I'm planning to keep the blog going - I've got a few potential topics up my sleeve, and I'll still be working at the university even if I'm not studying, so I'll be around students enough that I should find some inspiration.  Who knows how long I'll be able to keep it up until I run out of material, but we'll cross that bridge when it comes.

For now, enjoy your own study, and do let me know if there's any topics you'd like me to cover.

Introducing... me

My academic career started in the normal way.  Straight from high school to university, with vague ambitions of doing "something sciencey".  Eventually, after floating around a few disciplines, my major solidified into Maths, and I graduated after the standard three years of a full-time student with a very average Bachelor of Science degree.

The next decade was pretty typical for a New Zealander of my generation.  A few years working, then a "Big OE", off to Europe to travel and work in a range of jobs successively further removed from my degree.  Finally at the end of 1999 I ended up back in New Zealand with an administrative job in a university.  And that's where things started getting interesting.

On my first day, while showing me around, my boss mentioned one of the perks of the job,  "By the way, if you're interested in studying anything while you're here, the university will support you."  That support turned out to mean my fees would be waived on up to two papers a year, provided I made up any work time I missed while attending lectures.

I jumped at the chance, and in the first semester of 2000 I officially became a part-time mature student.  I'd been away from study for long enough that the thought of carrying on with Maths at a higher level was way too intimidating.  And anyway, I was only doing this for fun, so I thought I'd just take a couple of Arts papers that sounded interesting.  Which of course led on to other papers that sounded interesting, and before I knew it, it was 2011 and I was graduating with a Bachelor of Arts in Linguistics, with minors in Spanish and Psychology.

And by then I was totally hooked.  So last year I took the next step, and enrolled in Honours (at my university the BA(Hons) degree is a separate degree from the BA, intended as a stepping stone between undergraduate and postgraduate study).  Normally it's a one year course - I'm going to take four, doing one paper a year.  And then... and then I have big dreams.  A Masters degree?  Perhaps even a PhD?  Who knows where this could take me?

Except, of course, that at the current rate, I should graduate with my PhD right around the time I'm ready to retire...

[Photograph courtesy of my sister-in-law.]